My birth story started in the early morning hours of the 17th of December, Alissa’s due date to be precise! It took me a while to be able to relive it all without shedding many tears of joy. Let me tell you everything from the very beginning, as I sit here in bed with her on my lap.
The evening of the 16th Ogi and I decided last minute to go for a walk and grab something to eat, we both felt so restless and somehow off. We went to the beach where we sat and talked about our new life and how excited we both were for it. We went to bed as if nothing would happen the next day, somehow in our minds Alissa would be coming on the 20th of December, on her induction date.
Little did I know what would be happening very shortly, waking up to a lot of pain around 4 AM. The pain of strong, one minute long contractions, every seven minutes. I decided to use a tracker app when I noticed that they were not going away. I woke up Ogi anxiously after an hour and told him that this just might be it. By 7 AM I decided to message my doctor who told me to go to the hospital straight away. We had a hearty breakfast, Ogi finished packing his things and by 8 AM we were en route to the hospital.
Arriving at the labor ward, we were greeted by one of the midwives who said she had been expecting me. She asked me to change into a hospital gown and quickly puts me on the monitor to check my contractions and baby’s pulse. In the process of all this, she realized that I am not the patient that she thought I was, who was booked for an emergency C-section! Mind you they also confused me with someone else regarding insurance, telling me that mine was a basic and I would not cover the delivery.
It is safe to say that whatever contractions I had, stopped briefly from the shock! She asked me if I was sure that I was having them and “luckily” they resumed shortly after. She also checked my dilation which was only one cm. I was told to go back home and wait for a shorter gap between contractions, ideally three every ten minutes (I was still having one every seven minutes) and take panadol when the pain became to much for me.
Off home we went, I decided that we should go or a walk at some point of the afternoon as the contractions continued as same and the midwife suggested it might help to get things moving. By 10 PM I honestly began loosing hope and got extremely tired and fatigued. The pain became stronger or maybe I just became weaker, but I was breaking down from it. I asked Ogi to call the hospital and see if I could get admitted for induction the following day as I could not imagine going another day like this.
Ogi was told that an induction in such short notice was not possible and I literally broke down in tears. By midnight I was in agony from the pain which seemed to be the only thing I could think of. I can say that if it wasn’t for his help, I would not have made through the night. He gave me plenty of massages and helped me focus on breathing techniques. I didn’t sleep one bit, but at least I managed to deal with the pain.
By 4 AM I was out of bed wishing for a miracle, it had been a looonng twenty-four hours of non stop contractions by this point. After a toilet break I feel water coming down my legs, I wasn’t too sure if it was a little wee or my water breaking. I told Ogi and we decided to just go to the hospital and get myself checked out.
Arriving at the labor ward yet again! This time we ate a little less and got in at around 6 AM. The same procedures as the previous day minus the hick-ups and confusions. Contractions had intensified by then, becoming closer and closer to three every ten minutes and 4 cm dilated. This meant that I was admitted and finally in active labor.
I was asked if I wanted any drugs, and of course by this time which was 7:30 AM and over twenty-seven hours of constant contractions I wanted every single drug I could get my hands on. We started of with some laughing gas while I waited to get my blood test for the epidural.
Around 9:30 AM I had my epidural which had put me in the best state of mind! I was pain free and loving life, I was also 5 cm dilated. Since my water was only partially broken, by this time the midwife finished that process too. Everything seemed to happen so fast by this point and could not believe that by 11:45 AM I was already 9 cm dilated. The midwives informed my doctor how far along I was, while she was making her way to the hospital. It was not long util I got to meet Alissa.
I was 10 cm dilated by 12:30 PM, feeling the pain of the pressure and a sudden urge to push. I got an additional dose of epidural then because I really felt the pain and more so on the right side of my body (something very common apparently.) I was squeezing Ogi’s hand so tight that by one point he suggested that I hold the rail of the bed and focus on my breathing.
I think a little past 1 PM my doctor was in the room and it was show time. Ogi was on my left and two midwives too (I was lucky as I was the only person delivering that day.) The pain was very much still there, but by this time I was really focused on pushing her out. There was little to no break between my contractions, they seemed to come stronger and stronger. I was instructed to keep my knees pulled back, grabbing under my thighs. Once ready, my doctor told me “On your next contraction, you will take a deep breath, hold it and push it for as long as possible. We’re going to do this three to four times during each contraction.”
Even though this part was a big blur for me and it was really hard to focus on the task, I tried to grasp everything she told me and perform just so. The first few breaths and pushes were not my best, I will admit it…but at one point I literally gave my absolute all and that was exactly what was needed to get her head out. At that moment my doctor asked me if I wanted to feel it, and I did touch her head, feeling all the hair I would soon see…the little push I needed to keep on at it!
Shortly after Alissa was born, at 1:37PM. Apparently she cried coming out, but I did’t hear a thing. All I remember is seeing her and then tears pouring down my face. She was put on my chest and all the pain seemed to have disappeared as it never existed at all. I was consumed by so much love and a different kind of love that I don’t think I will ever be able to explain in words.
I am so emotional as I write this, seating here and looking at you. Today you are seventeen days old, how did the days go by so fast? I feel utterly blessed that Ogi captured the moment that marked your existence so that I can always relieve it and remember you just then.
I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you forever!
I hope you have enjoyed reading the most personal and intimate post I believe I will ever have the pleasure of writing. Also don’t forget to follow me on instagram if you don’t already. Wishing you a blessed and happy 2021!